This year, instead of wishing someone a happy birthday, maybe you should think about what you would really like to say to them instead. Because, if you’re anything like me, their birthday is the perfect time to insult them. Whether you’re looking for something clever or just want to get under someone’s skin, here are a few birthday insults to consider.
Insulting Birthday Wishes
- Happiest birthday to the most grasping friend of mine. May God gives all your money to me so that I can throw myself a party at least.
- May you survive long enough to see your teeth falling and others eating your birthday cake. Happy Birthday!
- The only thing you can cut well in life is your birthday cake but not my second base. Happy birthday my loser boyfriend!
- I am super allergic to stupid people. Thankfully, you are not one of them. Happy birthday my lovely friend!
- I guess we both are born only to fulfill the purpose of reminding each other on our birthdays. Happy birthday my loveliest friend!
- Soon you are going to reach an age when candles won’t fit in your birthday cake. Happy birthday oldie!
- My deepest sympathies are with you for the loss of money and youth. Happy birthday!
- As long as the sun and the moon are alive, I will keep insulting my best friend. Happy birthday to the most idiotic friend ever!
- My life was beautiful then you entered in it and everything became so gloomy. You seem like a curse on my life but still, I love you. Happy birthday my lousy friend!
- On your special day, I wholeheartedly wish May you live long enough to see my success and you work in my company, and call me a boss. Happy birthday!
- It’s your big day and you are my best friend doesn’t mean I will rope in lavish and exorbitant gifts for you. Just be content with my sweet birthday wishes this year!
- Hey girl, you are slowly reaching an age where even plastic surgery couldn’t save you from looking ugly and pathetic. Just learn to live with this fact. Happy birthday!
- I have heard that people of a certain age become unbearable when they don’t get what they want! Happy Birthday!
- When I look at you, I can’t think of the worst part of getting older – because everything about it seems equally bad. Happy birthday.
- I know there’s no use of asking for a birthday party from you since I’ve not gotten one ever since we are friends. Happy birthday to the world’s most parsimonious person.
- On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high, and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there. Happy birthday.
- Dear friend, what is the point of celebrating your birthday when you are moving one step closer to death? I wish you a happy birthday!
- I still wonder how on earth an extrovert guy like you became the friend of an introvert like me. Whatever happens, happens for the good. Happy birthday, friend!
- Hey friend, your birthday is the only day on which people actually bless you with sweet words. The rest of the days, you are a laughing stock to them. Happy birthday, dear friend!
- If you don’t take the pledge of cutting your weight this birthday I won’t bring a birthday cake for you. Happy birthday my cute fatty friend!
- Friendship is all about give and take. You can take the gift I got for you ONLY if you give an awesome party in return. Happy birthday.
- Though I am always rude to you, I promise I won’t behave rudely on your birthday. I will be unbearable. Happy birthday! May Lord gives you enough money to throw me a party.
- May you live long enough to terrify your grandchildren with big wrinkles. Happy birthday!
- You are an ass of all trades but master of not a single thing. Happiest birthday to the most useless friend in this world.
- On your birthday, I strongly wish you get white hair and look like an uncle as soon as possible. Happy birthday dude!
Heartfelt Insulting Birthday Wishes
People always say the nicest things on their birthdays, but sometimes people just don’t know how to properly express themselves. So, here are some of the most insulting birthday wishes I’ve ever heard!
- Don’t worry, I am right here by your side to help you mourn the death of your youth. Happy birthday.
- Getting old on your birthday is not a bad thing after all. You will be dead soon and free from worldly suffering. Happy birthday, friend!
- If I could get a huge gift to you on your birthday, it would definitely be all my problems. Happy birthday, friend!
- With each birthday, you are getting close to becoming a senior citizen. Wishing happy birthday to the senior citizen-to-be.
- I hate surprises, so I really hope you have good food at your party. Happy birthday!
- The key reason I desperately wait for your birthday is because it is the only day when you throw me a party. What a nincompoop you are! Happy birthday dear friend!
- Everyone ages like a bottle of wine. Some ages like a fine wine and some turns into vinegar. My friend, you are the latter one. Happy birthday!
- I wanted to bring a birthday gift for you but then I thought, this guy is rich and all he needs is blessings. Happy birthday my stupid friend!
- It is my heartfelt wish to lift you up on my shoulders on your birthday. But you are so fucking heavy. Happy birthday fatso!
- Your birthday is the only day when I use superlative terms like smartest, wisest, coolest, for you. Happy birthday, friend!
- Do you know why I came to your birthday party? Because I wanted to impress my taste buds with the food being served over here. Ha-ha, happy birthday!
- Happy birthday my dear bestie! I wish you get richer, smarter, and more beautiful with each passing day, but not more than me.
- I hope your birthday turns out to be as awesome as your high school result. LOL, that was terrible. Happy birthday buddy!
- Don’t you think my friendship is the biggest birthday gift for you? Don’t even dare to expect a gift unless you through me a party. Happy birthday!
- Don’t you feel tantalized by the fact that a dashing person like me will give you the birthday gift? Happy birthday buddy!
- Ha-ha, you’ve turned 18 today. I remember the times when we used to fight when we were kids and you always cried like a crying baby. Happy birthday!
- You are perhaps the only person in the world who doesn’t pick calls on his birthday. Forget about birthday wishes and gifts if I don’t get a party this year.
- If you think life is funny, then you are wrong. Just look yourself in a mirror and you will get the meaning of funny. Happy birthday my friend!
- Age is a funny thing because it adds years to your life, and also subtracts years from your life. Whichever way, it is never good news. Happy birthday.
- My life was beautiful then you entered in it and everything become so gloomy. You seem like a curse on my life but still, I love you. Happy birthday my lousy friend!
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Unique Insulting Birthday Wishes
- The only noteworthy achievement of your life is getting born on Christmas when everyone accidentally celebrated your birthday. Happy birthday my boy!
- Every year, on your birthday, I pray to God to make you wise. It seems like your sins outweigh your good deeds. That’s why God is not listening to my prayers. Happy birthday, friend!
- Everyone gets wishes with each passing birthday. I guess, you are the only creature who is getting stupid with every birthday. God bless you and happy birthday!
- May the almighty showers everything you want in life except money, fame, and Lamborghini. Wishing you a joyous birthday!
- We have learned that you celebrate another birthday. Well, maybe “celebrate” is certainly not the right word. Happy Birthday!
- congratulations! Another birthday and you’re still in great shape! This shows that the healthy rules of life are an outdated concept! Happy Birthday!
- I swear to God if I don’t get your birthday party this year, either you will be a dead man or our friendship will end for sure. Happy birthday to the most parsimonious man I know. Happy birthday!
- Everyone gets wishers with each passing birthday. I guess, you are the only creature who is getting stupid with every birthday. God bless you and happy birthday!
- I am still waiting for that golden day when others will start wishing you a happy birthday except me. What a loner you are! Happy birthday my best buddy!
- You bumped into the planet on this day and that’s your only achievement. Happy birthday dear friend!
- Everyone ages like a bottle of wine. Some ages like fine wine and some turn into vinegar. My friend, you are the latter one. Happy birthday!
- Numerous birthdays have passed but there is no sign of maturity in you. When will god spare me from you? Happy birthday to the shittiest yet loveliest friend!
- The best return gift I can get on your birthday is the erasure of your birth date from my memory. Happy birthday!
- We know it’s your birthday today and you’re dying to throw us a splendid party. So, here we are. Happy birthday!
- Getting someone as awesome as me to send a birthday message to you, has undoubtedly been your biggest achievement this year. Happy birthday.
- Thank goodness birthday comes only once in a year, otherwise most of my pocket-money would have gone in bringing birthday cakes and candles for you. Happy birthday, friend!
- The only way to remain young in spite of growing old is to keep the child inside you alive. Happy birthday my dearest friend!
- Happiest birthday to my dearest friend who is now old enough to be called a senior citizen and a cranky old man with a big belly.
- If you think life is funny, then you are wrong. Just look at yourself in a mirror and you will get the meaning of funny. Happy birthday my friend!
- Are you going to use your birthday as an excuse to get totally wasted? Because I’m in. Happy birthday!
How do you wish an annoying friend a happy birthday?
Insulting birthday wishes is the best way to make someone’s day miserable. If you’re thinking of giving someone a nasty birthday wish, make sure to include some of the following insults:
- You are a kind, beautiful, and amazing person. I hope you accept my birthday wishes and these lies on your birthday today!\
- I so wanted to bring a birthday gift for you but then I thought, this guy is rich and all he needs is blessings. Happy birthday my stupid friend!
- Every year, on your birthday, I pray to God to make you wise. It seems like your sins outweigh your good deeds that’s why God is not listening to my prayers. Happy birthday, friend!
- Age is directly proportional to wisdom. In your case, it is inversely proportional. What a disgrace you are! Anyways, happy birthday Dumbo jumbo.
- If Facebook didn’t remind me of your birthday, I would have forgotten about it for sure. Happy birthday in advance and do think about a birthday bash this year at least.
- Some people may tell you that age has added grace and maturity to your looks. That’s just a nice way of saying that you have become old and boring. Happy birthday.
- I wish I could make fun of you on your birthday about your age. But with each passing year, I am getting older too. Happy birthday.
- I’m a very busy person and you must consider yourself lucky as I remember your birthday, not everyone gets the same treatment. Happy birthday stupid!
- Friendship is beyond everything. I mean you are ugly and idiot, still you are my friend. Happy birthday!
- If I could get a huge gift for you on your birthday, it would definitely be all my problems. Happy birthday, friend!
- The day you were born your parents would have definitely said, “What a waste of sperm?” Happy birthday, dude!
- May the almighty showers everything you want in life except money, fame, and Lamborghini. Wishing you a joyous birthday!
- With each birthday, you are getting close to become a senior citizen. Wishing happy birthday to the senior citizen-to-be.
- On your birthday, I pray to god to give you a life long enough to see your teeth and hair falling. Happy birthday!
- I still wonder how on the earth an extrovert guy like you became the friend of an introvert like me. Whatever happens, happens for the good. Happy birthday, friend!
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What are some sarcastic birthday wishes?
- Getting old on your birthday is not a bad thing after all. You will be dead soon and get free from worldly suffering. Happy birthday, friend!
- Happy birthday to my dearest friend who is now old enough to be called a senior citizen and a cranky old man with a big belly.
- I wonder why you are celebrating the fact that you’re turning older. Nevertheless, I will attend your birthday party. Happy birthday!
- The only noteworthy achievement of your life is getting born on Christmas when everyone accidentally celebrates your birthday. Happy birthday my boy!
- Dear friend, what is the point of celebrating your birthday when you are moving one step closer to death? I wish you a happy birthday.
- I look forward to your birthday every year because I can party in the best places in town. Hey, at least I’m honest. Happy birthday.
- If you want that we don’t ask you your real age today, just keep the chocolate and champagne coming for the rest of the week, and we’ll keep mum. Happy birthday.
- We make such a great team—me with my good looks, charm, and intelligence, and you with your ability to be such a great friend to me. Happy birthday.
- You are a beautiful, intelligent and amazing personality. May God help you to digest all these lies. Cheers, and enjoy your day.
- Have you started getting calls from the AARP yet? Or maybe the local funeral home? Well, better get started. Happy birthday.
- wow! You are going to celebrate your aging. Hats off to you. Nevertheless, I am ready for the festivity. Happy birthday, love.
- Promise that the more birthday candles you blow, the more I will be here for you to celebrate every special event in your life. Happy birthday.
- Are you going to use your birthday as an excuse to get totally wasted? Because I’m in. Happy birthday.
What are the best insulting birthday wishes?
When someone’s birthday comes around, it can be a really special day. For some, it’s a day to celebrate all that they’ve been through in life. For others, it can be a day to laugh and have a good time. But no matter what, birthday wishes are always special. So, what are the best insulting birthday wishes? Well, here are a few to get you started:
- I wonder why you are celebrating the fact that you’re turning older. Nevertheless, I will attend your birthday party. Happy birthday.
- I have heard that people of a certain age become unbearable when they don’t get what they want! Happy Birthday.
- Everyone ages like a bottle of wine. Some ages like a fine wine and some turns into vinegar. My friend, you are the latter one. Happy birthday.
- On your birthday, May god sucks out happiness from your life and make you beg even for a penny. Happy birthday my parsimonious friend.
- congratulations! Another birthday and you’re still in great shape! This shows that the healthy rules of life are an outdated concept! Happy Birthday.
- Do you really want me to believe that you celebrate your twenty-ninth birthday? Tell me one thing, have you ever been punctual?
- We know it’s your birthday today, and you’re dying to throw us a splendid party. So here we are. Happy birthday Quotes for friends.
- My life was beautiful then you entered in it and everything become so gloomy. You seem like a curse on my life but still, I love you. Happy birthday my lousy friend.
- You are a kind, beautiful, and amazing person. I hope you accept my birthday wishes and these lies on your birthday today.
- Be a cool cat and tell us where you’re going to throw us a party on your birthday. You know you can’t hide from us. Happy birthday.
- Very good On your birthday, smile, all you can …! It’s great for wrinkles! Congratulations.
- I don’t feel like wishing you a happy birthday. Because like everyone else, I don’t like reminding you that you are growing old. Happy birthday and stay young.
- If you don’t take the pledge of cutting your weight this birthday I won’t bring a birthday cake for you. Happy birthday my cute fatty friend.
