120 Funny Wedding Wishes That’ll Make Everyone Laugh!

Wedding wishes are a great way to show your love and appreciation for your friends and family. Whether you’re looking for something sweet or funny, there are plenty of great options out there. Here are some of our favorites:

Funny Wedding Wishes

  • Why marry when jumping in front of a train is easier and faster?! Just kidding! Hope your wedding finds you smiling!
  • The only upside to your wedding is that now you have someone else who you can irritate when you are bored. HaHa congratulations to both of us!
  • Never laugh at her choices. You are her biggest one dude! Congrats for this amazing journey you’re about to witness!
  • Getting married is like a class on Shakespeare. You get a little comedy, some romance, and a lot of tragedy. Congratulations.
  • It’s time for your mouth to shut and your eyes to open. Marriage is a complete surprise at all times. Good luck making changes, my friend.
  • Marriage is about taking a vow to complete each other only to find out later that you’re about to finish off each other. Happy wedding!
  • Do not expect that your husband will change after marriage. You will have to guide him through the process. Happy wedding!
  • Getting married is like reading Shakespeare – you get comedy, you get romance and you get a whole lot of history and tragedy. Cheers to Shakespeare and you!
  • I’ll tell you the secret of a happy marriage if you let me open your wedding gift with you, until then, Congratulations!
  • Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together – problems that never existed before you married. But since you’ve picked your problems, let’s celebrate. Cheers!
  • Your life had always been a rollercoaster and now am glad you have someone to scream along with you. Congrats bro!
  • Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them – ready or not here it comes! Congrats!
  • On your wedding day, I would like to disclose the secret to a happy married life…well it is such a secret that no one knows it. Here’s wishing you both a very happy married life.
  • Your marriage today marks the end of your happy love story and marks the beginnings of your never-ending war. May the best player win.
  • What do late-night parties, outing with friends and lazy weekends have in common? They all disappear after you get married. So cheers to this new chapter!
  • Look, I have a chauffeur and a car ready at the gate if either of you changes your mind. If not, have a wonderful wedding!
  • A happy marriage is mostly about each partner suspecting they got the better deal. Congratulations on your deal!
  • I hope you both have signed the pre-nup on who gets which side of the bed before you took the pheras. Congratulations lovers!
  • I will pass on some of my wisdom to you my friend: the most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes.
  • Never laugh at her choices. You are her biggest one dude! Congrats for this amazing journey you’re about to witness!
  • Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations.
  • Congratulations on getting married to such a beautiful person! Thank you for bringing an absolutely amazing friend to us, now we can finally get rid of you!
  • Some future advice for the Groom: the most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it… once!
  • Congratulations. You can look forward to everyone asking when are you going to get married to stop and when is the baby due taking its place.
  • Thank you for inviting us to eat and drink while you guys get married. Congratulations! Lots of love for both of you!
funny wedding wishes

Heartfelt Funny Wedding Wishes

Wedding wishes can be really heartfelt or really cheesy, so it’s hard to know where to start. Whether you’re looking for something specific to say or just some laughs, these are some of the best heartfelt funny wedding wishes.

  • Maybe your I do will not cost you- your sanity. Have fun in your married life. Sending my best wishes to both of you at surviving life. May God bless you, dear.
  • Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. You guys must be truly insane or madly in love.
  • I hope you enjoy the circus of this lifetime and make sure to squeeze the fun out of it. Stay in love, stay married. Also – remember to scream whenever it is needed. Love you, tons.
  • We didn’t expect you to be so brave to think about marriage anytime soon, but now here we are! Congratulations for a new life ahead!
  • Finally! I mean, yeah, congratulations on your wedding. I hope in your life drama be more comedy than some melodrama. Good luck with everything. Best wishes.
  • Marriage is the equivalent of signing a marriage contract that does not allow you to renew it every year. Congratulations on a perfect pair.
  • They say that marriage is a great institution. And much like many types of institutions, you need to be crazy to get into it – Congratulations, you kooks!
  • Don’t like it. Let’s not normalize being immature and irresponsible. It’s not cute, it’s annoying. And also unfair towards the men who can manage the adult stuff just fine, I know quite a few of them.
  • There is nothing worse than a friend getting married. Now my parents have one more reason to coax me into getting married. Congratulations.
  • Dear friend, you always loved adventures but marriage is going to be the biggest one you’ve faced till now! So hang in there! Congratulations to you!
  • I can see that the two of you are crazy in love with each other… I guess it will probably be complete madness from now on. Happy married life!
  • The only difference between marriage and stupidity is that marriage is expensive while stupidity comes free of cost.
  • Congratulations, my dear friend! It is like a beautiful entry into a maze with no exit. You have to enjoy every bit of the turns even if there is no end.
  • I’ll tell you the secret of a happy marriage. It remains… a secret to all! Wishing you all the best for the times ahead!
  • You are actually shown some respect when priests ask you to say ‘I do’. Else it’s not that you have any other choice either. Happy married life ahead!
  • I canceled all my appointments and an important meeting just so that I could make it to your wedding. After all, free food and booze were just too lucrative to give up. Congratulations.
  • Getting married is like becoming a child all over again. Be prepared to learn where to put your towel, how to keep the bathroom clean, and organizing your clothes in the closet. Congratulations.
  • Actually you only need to learn these chores if you already behave like a child… in which case I don’t think you should be getting married at all, LOL.
  • Never forget these two powerful sentences that can spell the difference between war and peace. Those are You’re right, dear and Okay, buy it.
  • I hate these jokes about marriage being a prison. You don’t want to, don’t get married, simple; unless it’s an arranged marriage against your will, in which case it definitely shouldn’t be joked about.
  • Just wanted to remind you that deaf husbands and blind wives make the best pairs. Hope you have a great married life with your partner. Sending you all my best wishes, mate.
  • Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations on your journey to the theatre!
  • I figured you two were crazy in love with each other, but I didn’t think you were crazy enough to marry. Have a wonderful future ahead of you.

Check out these:

Unique Funny Wedding Wishes

  • Dear friend, congratulations on getting married for real. Hope you speak now or forever hold your peace! May God be with you throughout all the bumpy ride.
  • Congratulations on your nuptials. I am really happy that you have found your person you want to annoy for the rest of your life and be happy about it. Love you two so much.
  • You are so excited to make your partner happy and loved always. Then you will find out that you did nothing but annoy each other instead. Congratulations!
  • There’s just one way to have a happy life, and as soon as I figure it out I’ll get married again. Until then, I’ll let you do the honors. Congrats!
  • Knowing the entrepreneurial couple that you are, I was wondering if you could give me some insider tips so I can place my bets on how long you both will last? Congratulations for getting hitched.
  • Congrats on getting married! You two are now forever entwined with some of the craziest moments. You are going to get fat together, complain and be happy. Awesome!
  • A couple’s life cycle consists of various stages: dating, loving, marrying, fighting, threatening, and possibly even divorcing. Congratulations on reaching step number three.
  • Don’t forget, one person is always right in the marriage. If you’re a husband, it’s not you. This advice will make your life much easier. Congrats on your wedding!
  • No amount of wishes or luck will protect you from the painful life of slavery you are about to start as a husband. Congratulations anyway.
  • Your laughter will be dead, your rejoicing will be nullified. There’s going to be just one voice at home now, and that is of your wife’s. Happy married life!
  • Marriage – the lone warfare where you have to sleep with your enemy and the next day you have to talk happily without caring how much you were disturbed last time. Good luck. Happy marriage.
  • In the circus of life, you may have lived like a lion so far. But your wife, the new circus master will tame you into a domesticated cat in no time. Good luck with your tightrope act.
  • Well, now it’s the beginning of the end for you. No more beers, no more night out with the guys but at least you have a loving wife. Congrats!
  • In life, we should always keep our eyes wide open. However, after marriage, it‘s better to close them! Congratulations and Good Luck!
  • On your wedding day, I would like to disclose the secret to a happy married life… well it is such a secret that no one knows it. Here’s wishing you both a very happy married life.
  • No amount of wishes or luck is can protect you from the life of servitude that you are about to begin as a husband. Congratulations anyway, buddy.
  • My son, I just want you to know that the veils have been invented so that the groom can’t see in the eyes of the bride all the schemes going on.
  • I never knew that people were falling in love. It seems like you should cautiously walk in so that you can see what you are walking into. Anyway, happy wedding day, my boy.
  • Welcome to the public washroom of marriage, now you are in the queue of those who are desperate to come out. Have a wonderful married life.
  • When you are getting ready to get married, the first thing you sacrifice is your freedom without any life commitment. Warm up, for there is more to come. Warmest wishes.
  • Dear friend, congratulations on getting married for real. Hope you speak now or forever hold your peace! May God be with you throughout all the bumpy rides.
  • Hope you stay madly in love, just don’t get ‘mad’ in this marriage. Best wishes for the crazy, wonderful, and dangerous world of marriage. Sending my prayers.
  • I’m not sure if you’re trying to fit into the rule of society or trying to rush to death for being rejected by it. Good luck with your new life anyway. Happy wedding!
  • Congratulations my best friend. I am really happy that you have found the person you want to annoy for the rest of your life and be happy about it. Love you two so much.
funny wedding wishes

How do you congratulate someone on their wedding funny?

Wedding congratulations can be funny, and there are lots of ways to say “you’re getting married!” Whether you’re using a traditional saying, a funny meme, or a clever quip, there’s sure to be something that will fit the occasion. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

  • Marriage is special, just like a play of Shakespeare. Not for the romance and the comedy, but for the tragedy. Congratulations!
  • I hope you enjoy the circus of this lifetime and make sure to squeeze the fun out of it. Stay in love, stay married. Also- remember to SCREAM whenever it is needed. Love you tons.
  • We are so proud that you chose the right one. It’s her who made a mistake in her life. I feel genuinely bad for her. Congratulations to you anyway!
  • May you enjoy your epic sleepover with your person for the rest of your life. I pray to God to keep both of you safe from each other. Have a great life together. Love you.
  • Surviving a marriage is so easy. You have to play dead and deaf for the rest of your life. Here’s a tip from your elder brother. Good luck!
  • I hope God bless you with an amazing memory to remember all the important dates and not make your partner angry. Sending my best wishes at your marriage life, mate.
  • Congratulation on being officially married. And I hope you know everything official has their own set of rules. Good luck with following those!
  • It’s all about communication to fix all the problems. She communicates, and you fix her problems. That’s how a happy marriage works, after all. Congratulations!
  • Congratulations you two, I’m not gonna lie, today was fantastic – but also, you guys totally suck. You’ve just given my mom just another reason to nag at me to get married.
  • Congratulations on your wedding my dear friends. Remember your honeymoon is your only chance at a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. After that, never again.
  • I knew you two were crazy in love, but I had no idea you were crazy enough to get hitched. Here’s hoping things work out for the best.
  • Marriage is like a Shakespeare play – you’ll have tragedy, comedy, drama and plot twists you’ll never see coming. All you can do is enjoy the show!
  • I’m in awe of you two today as you get married and eat cake. I honestly don’t know how you talked yourselves into this, but it sure looks like you’re happy so I guess that’s all that counts.
  • Wishing you a great wedding day and all the best going forward – you’re definitely going to need it if your kids turn out like you.

Check out these:

What are the best funny wedding wishes?

  • My friends, to keep things going smoothly, you need to keep in mind that only one person can be right in any argument. For the best outcome, remember: It’s never the husband.
  • Congratulations to you both! You’ve just done the equivalent of clicking ‘accept’ on a website’s pop-up box and have no idea what comes next. Neither do I, so best of luck!
  • I knew that you two were destined to be after he answered ‘rhombus’ to your late teacher joke … well done on finding your weirdo.
  • To my best friends, I couldn’t be happier you’re now married. Remember, marriage is either a one-way street that leads to divorce or a two-way street called love and compromise. Pick wisely!
  • Congrats friend, on your wedding day. Let us know what it’s like having a boss at the office, and one at home – and don’t forget to share the juicy bits.
  • What a beautiful wedding my friends. I have to say this is either the most extravagant gift ever, or the most expensive and stupid thing you’ve ever done. I guess only time will tell. Wishing you all the best.
  • Some people say that two halves becoming one halves the fun, but I think you two together doubles the trouble, so it kind of evens out. Congratulations on your marriage.
  • Enjoy your holy matrimony – it happened ‘cos she makes mean macaroni. Keep making that pasta and you’ll have him loving you for life.
  • Salutations to the bride and groom, remember in marriage, sometimes keeping your eyes closed and mouth shut is the best option.
  • Dear friends, thanks for making the wedding an open-bar one. I think that’s why so many people said yes to coming. Just joking, you guys are awesome. Best of luck.
  • My friends, congratulations. I hope you don’t mind my inclusion of burnt bread in my card … after all, they say you should give a toast to the happy couple. 
  • On this boat of life, I’m thrilled you found your soul-matey. Remember how much you love her during those rough seas and storms.
  • Before you married, you were just madly in love, let’s hoping the love doesn’t drop anytime soon leaving you both mad. Congratulations on your wedding.
  • Congratulations on your wedding day! I hope you have a world of gifts to open, because I didn’t get you one … only this pithy card. So I guess IOU if this last longer than a year.
  • You know marriage has been compared to a runaway car – it may be exciting in the beginning, but it becomes terrifying as it goes on. Here’s hoping you’ll make it out alive.
funny wedding wishes

What do you write in a quirky wedding card?

Wedding cards are generally meant to be pretty, but quirky wedding cards can be just as much fun. For example, you could write a funny message or doodle on the inside of the card. Whatever you choose, make sure it is unique and interesting enough to make your friends laugh when they receive it in the mail. Here are some funny wedding wishes.

  • Today is the first day of your new book of life together and I can’t wait to see how the next chapter turns out, but no spoilers! 
  • Marriage – the end of a good relationship, and the start of a great one … especially the tussle of wills that will happen. Wishing you both all the best.
  • Wishing you well on your wedding day. Remember, just because you’re a married man, you’re not yet a father so you can’t make dad jokes just yet. It’d be a faux pa.
  • Congratulations, you’re a lucky guy – I doubt you’ve released yet that you’ve just signed your life away. Keep smiling no matter what.
  • Congratulations buddy! Hey, quick question, do you know why wives are more dangerous than mafia men? Because they only want your money or your life … your wife is going to want both!
  • They say married men tend to live far longer than those who are single … but having seen a few of my friends who are married, I have to say, I think it just feels longer.
  • Love can be sweet, love can be kind, but if you anger your wife, you’ll discover those ‘worse’ times they spoke about in your vows today. Good luck!
  • There is nothing worse than a friend getting married. Now my parents have one more reason to coax me into getting married. Congratulations.
  • Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
  • A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.
  • And now you two have officially become one: one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!
  • Why marry when jumping in front of a train is easier and faster?! Just kidding! Hope your wedding finds you smiling!
  • Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations on your journey to the theatre!
  • They say that marriage is a great institution. And much like many types of institutions, you need to be crazy to get into it – Congratulations, you kooks!
  • Some people marry for love. Some people marry for money. Some people just like getting gravy boats and other useless pieces of china.
  • You haven’t just tied the knot with your wife today, you have tied ropes on your legs too. Congratulations on your wedding.
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