100 Funny Retirement Wishes for Loved Ones!

Retirement is a time to reflect on all the great things that have happened in your life. Whether you have been working for decades or just started your career, it’s important to take the time to think about what you want to do next. So, here are some funny retirement wishes that will make them laugh and maybe inspire them:

Funny Retirement Wishes

  • Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff. Congratulations.
  • Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to. So in short, it is boring. Congratulations.
  • Consider yourself officially and truly retired on the day you don’t feel like changing your underwear. Good luck.
  • This is the beginning of the rest of your life and the rest of your life. Congratulations on your retirement.
  • You always cursed your body when you were ill which made you miss an important deadline at work. Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years.
  • Wishing you the best in this next phase of your life.
  • All past year you put up a fight with office employees at work, after retirement, you will argue with your wife and family. Life will remain same for you. Congratulations!
  • Thank GOD, retirement is mandatory and not just a choice. Otherwise, I would be stuck with an annoying colleague like you.
  • No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditations you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – A master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.
  • Reaching retirement age is like getting to the top of a cliff. You will be at the zenith of your career, well knowing that the next step is a downward plunge toward old age. Good luck.
  • Wishing you all the best for your retirement. may all your retirement dreams come true.
  • We’re glad that you are retiring, and we are looking forward to spending more time with you. Best wishes.
  • Congratulations on your retirement but don’t get too eager to relax yet. Get ready to tire yourself out with grandkids, gardening and many other chores.
  • Do you think that life after retirement is an adventure? Well, it is if you count trekking out of bed, climbing atop sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.
  • You can be taken out of the workforce, but the work can never be taken out of you. I am confident you’ll never stop working on things you love to do.
  • Retirement is said to be the slow and painful lead up to the sunset years of your life. Have fun old timer.
  • The big challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money.
  • Congratulations on retiring. Have fun watching your life’s savings dwindle out.
  • May your retirement be the best days of your life.
  • It doesn’t matter whether you behave like a grumpy retiree or not because people are going to assume that anyways. Good luck dealing with that.
  • Wishing you the most exciting and stress free retirement ever.
  • We’re really going to miss you! We hope that you’ll enjoy every minute of your retirement.
Funny Retirement Wishes

Funny Retirement Wishes for Coworker

You’re retiring soon! Congrats on your big day! We all hope we can enjoy our retirement years to the fullest, and your retirement will be a lot more enjoyable knowing you have the best coworkers ever by your side. Here are some retirement wishes for you to keep in mind:

  • I wish you a good continuation for your retirement since it started a long time ago!
  • What a life you will come – Weekend for the weekend, You retire, Be forever young!
  • We have always enjoyed your company here at work and we are really going to miss you a lot. Best of luck.
  • Health, family, friends and relationships are some of the things that you sacrificed in your life so that you could work harder and earn more money. Now you will realize that you need these things to enjoy retirement. Such is the irony of life.
  • Congratulations on your retirement. Now you have to work on never-ending job & it’s called doing nothing
  • Finally retirement and with it the arrival of the great existential questions: Where is the remote control? What day are we? It’s up to you to dig deep inside you to find the answer. Happy retirement!
  • Congratulations on your retirement! If you get bored, you know you can call us and hang out with us.
  • After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger. All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart.
  • You’re far from grandfather, But the pension said: “Hi!” Let your new stage be good, as you could not dream!
  • Wishing you the best on your life after this retirement. We will miss you.
  • Doing the things you always wanted to do is not the real challenge of retirement. Remembering them is the real challenge. Good luck at being a forgetful pensioner.
  • Before you’d have to wait for holidays, now the rest of your life is one! Do enjoy it.
  • Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Keep working hard, but be your own boss.
  • The race is almost over, the finish line is coming … Top! That’s it, you’ve just won the race of professional life.
  • Nobody goes to retirement! Nobody stops working! They just have a new boss who lives in their house and is present hours a day: their wife … Good luck to get a vacation!
  • Congratulations on your retirement. Thanks for your years of dedication and hard work.
  • We are so glad that you are retiring, since we will get to spend a whole lot more time with you.
  • You’re going to be able to start working, your grandchildren have not stopped running, I wish you a nice active retirement.
  • May you do all the things you love to do and avoid the things you do not like to do in your retirement.
  • If you don’t work, you will never be late for work! Happy retirement.
  • Retirement is starting of the new time while you can sit down & give advice to others, despite the fact that you never followed it in your whole life. Congratulations.
  • We will miss you. You are a one of a kind and will not be easily replaced. Enjoy your retirement.
  • Every day of your retired life will feel like a happy Friday night. But it’s useless because being old will make you feel dull like Monday morning all the time. Happy retirement.
  • Wishing you all the joy and happiness that a happy retirement can bring.
  • I wanted you to know that you’re a person I really admire … because you’re about to retire.

Check out these:

Funny Retirement Wishes for a Friend

  • Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder – are you still looking forward to retirement? Congratulations.
  • Ah, how jealous I am … In bad faith, I will wish you a happy retirement.
  • For someone who looks forward to lying around all day, retirement must be thrilling! Have fun.
  • Retirement is like a bubble that burst just when you think you are at the zenith of your career. Good luck buddy.
  • It’s great to see someone as deserving as you retire. Make sure you work just as hard at relaxing as you have in your long career.
  • Retirement is the turning point in your life which makes you realize that you had your priorities messed up all this while. Congratulations, better late than never.
  • Just as your work has been long and satisfying, we wish you a long and satisfying retirement.
  • Good luck with your new boss who knows by heart your sense of organization, work and all your excuses. Yes, spouses are the most difficult bosses!
  • Retirement is life’s way of telling you that you are too old and too weak to work any longer. Congratulations.
  • Congratulations on your retirement. We wish you tons of happiness in the years ahead.
  • Now that you are going to spend time in your hammock reading “The Team”, I hope you will not forget to come and greet from time to time your old friends who toil all week! See you soon.
  • Retirement is not the end, it’s a new beginning.
  • Congratulations, may you enjoy your retirement to the fullest.
Funny Retirement Wishes for a Friend

Funny Retirement Wishes for Boss

If you’re approaching retirement, there’s no need to be sad. Instead, make your retirement a time to enjoy your life by wishing your boss the best of luck in all of his future endeavors. Here are some funny retirement wishes for your boss:

  • We’ll miss you. You were one of a kind, and not easily replaced. Congratulations on your retirement.
  • Wishing you a wonderful retirement. May you enjoy your retirement to the fullest.
  • Retirement is like graduation- only this time, you will do a master on laziness!
  • Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you.
  • Wow, now you can get up late, do not shave, sit all day reading the newspaper and spend the whole week doing nothing productive! Hey, exactly like when you were working! Congratulations!
  • Retirement marks the transition from working under one boss to a new one called WIFE. Congratulations.
  • After retirement, we will realize that how you wasted a majority of these years trying to be mature while you may get again to being a child at the end. Congratulations!
  • Was working hard all your life worth it? You are about to realize that now. Congratulations on retiring.
  • No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditations you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.
  • Congratulations on your retirement. The end of an era but the start of a whole new chapter.

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What are some ways to wish someone a funny retirement?

  • For someone as lazy as you, retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing, officially. Congratulations.
  • Congratulations on your retirement! It’s now time to address all the tasks you rejected when you were working. Have fun!
  • Now you get a new boss who knows about your true work ethic, organizational skills, and excuses. Spouses make the toughest bosses. Good luck!
  • The funny thing about retirement is that it makes you realize the importance of medical insurance.
  • Retirement is a fence – on one side lies hard work and on the other lies boredom. Either ways, it’s no fun.
  • It doesn’t matter whether you behave like a grumpy retiree or not, because people are going to assume that anyways. Good luck dealing with that.
  • Wishing you a lengthy and satisfying retirement.
  • All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Congratulations.
  • Retirement is just a nice way for your company to say that you are getting too old to work. Congratulations for stepping into this league, old timer.
  • Your new job now is to make sure that you enjoy your retirement to the fullest.
Funny Retirement Wishes

How to congratulate someone on retiring?

When someone retires, it can feel like a significant life event. Whether or not you knew the individual when they were working, congratulations are in order! Here are a few ways to congratulate someone on retiring:

  • Congratulations on your pension! But we remind: There is no time to relax, Grandchildren grow up!
  • Being retired is the only time in your life when you won’t mind if you don’t get a holiday. Have fun.
  • Since the time you save yourself. You will finally be able to give % for retirement! PS: you will receive some files to be mailed soon… I’m kidding of course! Good old branch retirement!
  • We wish you health and happy days in your retirement.
  • Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.
  • All these years you argued with your colleagues, juniors, managers and your boss at work. After retirement, you will argue with your grandkids, children and wife at home. Life remains the same.
  • It’s time to take a trash bag and throw alarm clocks, ties, tight clothes, etc. A new life begins where the joggings, deodorants, beers, etc., will be the kings of your perpetual holidays. I wish you the best for the future.
  • Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all. Have fun.
  • You will remembered for the things that you did here. Thanks for your years of hard work and dedication. Congratulations on your retirement.
Vilcare Staff