Laugh Out Loud With These 150 Funny Christmas Wishes!

Christmas is a time for family, friends, and loved ones. It’s a time for giving and receiving, for celebrating and reflecting. It’s also a time for spreading cheer and good tidings. So why not add a little humor to your holiday season with some funny Christmas wishes?

If you’re looking for some funny Christmas wishes to write on cards or say to someone, you’ve come to the right place! Here are some of our favorites that are sure to get a chuckle out of anyone.

Funny Christmas Wishes

  • This holiday season I think I will donate my bathroom scale. that way I won’t be weighed down with guilt going into the new year!
  • One important rule of Christmas; You can eat all the sweet candies as long as you don’t forget to brush your teeth. Merry Christmas!
  • Wishing for a fat bearded guy to visit me at night is not cool. I’d rather wish it was you in a red gown. Merry Christmas!
  • Santa asked me what my heart wants this Christmas! I told him your name, and he said you’re already in my heart! Merry Christmas!
  • Wishing you a season full of eating and celebrations! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
  • You know your life sucks when you have to wait the entire year for Santa to bring you some presents because apparently, no one care to give you a present.
  • Christmas is much similar to an avaricious enterprise: You work your buns off to profit, shop ’til you drop, and some chunky person at the top still gets all the credit! Cheerful Christmas in any case.
  • May this Christmas be really busy for you as the rest of the year was kinda blah. Have a tremendous time. Lots of love.
  • The reason why everyone makes wishes every Christmas is that no one’s wish ever comes true! Making Christmas wishes is just a custom! Merry Christmas!
  • Christmas is the festival of love and spirit. So let us drink the spirit to feel love; Merry Christmas too!
  • I Wish Santa fill your socks with candy and your wallet with money. Have a nice and warm holiday season my love! Merry Christmas to you!
  • Christmas is all about spending time with good people. So makes sure you spend the entire day with me tomorrow. Merry Christmas, sweetheart!
  • Enjoy this Christmas till you find your name in Santa’s naughty list. May you have a great holiday!
  • Christmas is a mystery day. It makes savings disappear! Check your balance and you won’t know how the money disappeared. Merry Christmas!
  • Wishing you a white Christmas this year. If you run out of the white one, remember I have plenty of supply for the red one. Merry Christmas dear friend!
  • Merry Christmas! May you receive presents that make you happy – and not fruit cake and ugly Christmas sweaters.
  • I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I really would love a new credit card as well!
  • Merry Christmas, dear. Even though we didn’t play secret Santa this year, we would have given you a clock intending to arrive earlier in the office.
  • Christmas is not only for praying and praising. But for drinking and messing around also. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
  • Merry X-mas! May you be surrounded by jolly elves – and not nasty grinches- this holiday season!
  • The true magic of Christmas is when you make my savings disappear without me realizing what happened. You’re truly a blessing in disguise of a wife!
  • Christmas is the only time when eating candy out of socks is cool! Good luck with your smelly socks and expired candies. Merry Christmas!
  • I hope when Santa comes at midnight, he brings you wrapped in a box as my Christmas gift! That would make a perfect Christmas for me this year!
  • All I want for Christmas is YOU but as I have already got you, thanks in advance for the hot chocolate on Christmas eve. Merry Christmas, husband dearest.
  • Your name has been missing from both the naughty and nice list of Santa. So, I told him to search for your name on his handsome list. I’m sure he will find it there!
  • May your Christmas be as fat, happy, and plentiful as Santa’s! Merry Christmas!
Funny Christmas Wishes

Funny Christmas Wishes 2022

It’s that time of year again! The Christmas season is upon us and that means it’s time to start thinking about what Christmas wishes to send to our friends and loved ones. If you’re looking for some inspiration, why not take a look at some of the funniest Christmas wishes for 2022?

Whether you want to send a light-hearted message or a more serious one, we’ve got you covered. So, without further ado, here are our top funny Christmas wishes for 2022:

  • Hold peace, love and hope in your heart always And Christmas will bring you what you wish for.
  • Happy Birthday to Jesus and I can already hear you screaming for receiving your treasure gift box from me. Love you, too.
  • May you make it through the priest’s dull speech and join us at the party soon. Have an incredible Christmas!
  • Having you by my side this Christmas means everything extra. Extra food, extra admiration, extra bills- everything. Love you anyway, love.
  • I think Santa must ride a plane instead of sleigh so that he can reach me faster. I oftentimes fell asleep waiting for him.
  • I wrote to Santa admitting that I have been naughty throughout this year and it’s all because of you. Now, I’m waiting for Santa’s reply. Merry Christmas!
  • Stop asking for presents from Santa and be the Santa for the kids around you. Suits your age. Merry Christmas!
  • I love the holidays. But sometimes I could use a little less “Jingle Bells” and a little more “Silent Night”.
  • At the end of the day, we go to the Holiday Season, a profoundly religious time that each of us sees, in his own particular manner, by heading off to his preferred shopping center.
  • Happy holidays! May you have plenty of coffee and caffeinated drinks to get you through the Christmas season!
  • I mistakenly wrapped your Christmas present in a paper that says “Happy Birthday”. So I added the wording “to Jesus” on it. Merry Christmas!
  • Lob a snowball at me, and I’ll declare war. Let’s make this one the best Christmas for us together! Merry Christmas to you!
  • Christmas is truly full of wonders. It makes all of my savings disappear! That is the Christmas magic; Merry Christmas!
  • Someone woke up early in the morning to check his socks. Good for the socks, good for my morning too!
  • This time of year so many get concerned about eating too many calories. Therefore, I will gladly take any unwanted Christmas cookies.
  • A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss is not a kiss unless it’s with tongues. So open your mouth and close your eyes and give your tongue some exercise! Merry Christmas!
  • Christmas is in the air; let’s celebrate the festival of love and peace. Merry Christmas to You!
  • We wish you a less expensive Christmas. We wish you a less expensive Christmas. We wish you a less expensive Christmas and a debt-free New Year!
  • It’s hard to smile when your wallet runs out of cash but still, Merry Christmas and good luck on fulfilling the wishes of you kids!
  • Enjoy your Christmas holiday, the chicken and goose are waiting, don’t forget to send me the blessings. Merry Christmas my friend!
  • You’re too young to go to clubs with friends. Pray for gifts from Santa or let’s go on a date this Christmas. Merry Christmas Cutypie!
  • I hope Santa fills our socks with cash instead of gifts and toys. I know you hope for the same. Wish you a happy Christmas!
  • It’s not nice to be visited by a fat bearded guy late at night. I’d rather want to see you in a red gown. Merry Christmas, darling!
  • Our plans for Christmas: Let’s have all the fun of our life and then we’ll both be praying until our credit bills arrive to rip us off. Happy Xmas!
  • Good luck with wishing people unrealistic things from someone who doesn’t even exist. Have a great Christmas this year!
  • May this festive season sparkle and shine, may all of your wishes and dreams come true, and may you feel this happiness all year round. Merry Christmas!
  • The season has finally come for every husband in the world to go broke from being rich finally. Merry Christmas to all the beautiful wives out there.
  • Tis the season to wish one another joy and love and peace. These are my wishes for you, Merry Christmas our dear friends, may you feel the love this special day.

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Funny Christmas Wishes for Cards

  • Wishing you a white Christmas where you will forget about everything and let the snow wash away all your workloads.
  • Dear Santa please leave candy instead of coals or I’ll hunt you down. I’m serious by the way, I’ve been good! but I’ll seriously kill if i don’t see any gummies.
  • Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!
  • I believe your Christmas is out of this world! Merry Christmas!
  • Just wanted you to know that you have literally no chance of ending up on the good list of Santa this year. Merry Christmas to you!
  • Everyone knows the most important part of the Christmas celebration is spending time with family you don’t get to see very often. Then you have an excuse to neglect them for the rest of the year.
  • Christmas is not so much about opening presents as opening your heart! happy Christmas wishes.
  • I wrapped your Christmas gift in “Happy Birthday” paper by accident. Then I added “to Jesus” to it. Merry Christmas, wifey!
  • Hope you get to drink a lot and feast well in the holiday season. Lose yourself and have a bit more fun. Merry Christmas, my dear coworker.
  • You’re now at a stage of your life when you really need to ask yourself if you believe in Santa or not! Grow up, man. Merry Christmas!
  • Dear friend, we’re here to offer you a wonderful season. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
  • Instead of presents, I wish Santa would lend me an elf for a year. I’m pretty sure I could find enough things for him to fix, build, or clean for an entire year!
  • I have Kept some photos in my home So come here instead of Church you can drink and pray, And no more boring speech from the priest Merry Christmas and Happy New year!
  • Merry Christmas! May the lines at the stores you shop at be short, and may your patience be long this holiday season!
  • So flippin’ excited to spend this Christmas with you. Can’t wait to make some funny moments with you.
  • Remember to smile and enjoy your time. Because when Christmas is over, nobody will care whether you exist or not!
  • Every time I see you, I think of Santa. You have so many things in common with that big, fat, silly guy except that long-white beard. Merry Christmas dear!
  • I exited Santa sans gluten treats and natural soy drain and he put a sunlight based board in my stocking.
  • May the closeness of friends, the comfort of home, and the unity of our nation, renew your spirits this festive season. Merry Christmas to your family.
  • The best Christmas gifts are those given from the heart. On the other hand, cash and gift cards are effective too! Merry Christmas!
  • Sending you this Christmas gift because you are awesome. Hope you will not change after the season. Merry Christmas!
  • You are too young to go clubbing. Stay indoors and expect gifts from Santa. Merry Christmas!
  • I have no money to spend for you on this Christmas but know that I always have time to spend with you this Christmas! I love you!
  • Since I bought the presents, I’ve asked Santa to bring you love and happiness!
  • I wish you hit the jackpot for joy, happiness, and peace this holiday season. Merry Christmas!
Funny Christmas Wishes for Cards

Funny Christmas Wishes for Her

It’s that time of year again! The time when we all get together to celebrate the holidays. And what better way to celebrate than with some funny Christmas wishes for her?

Whether you’re looking for something to write in your Christmas card, or just want to make her laugh, we’ve got you covered. Here are some of the best funny Christmas wishes for her:

  • A Christmas Reminder: Don’t try to borrow any money from elves; They’re always a little short! Have a Merry Christmas!
  • Merry Christmas! Santa is giving you the gift of a frigid winter – but just for a few more months!
  • I can’t believe it’s already Christmas! The holidays are sometimes exhausting! But stay calm and enjoy Christmas.
  • I prayed that Santa would give you wings this Christmas so you can fly and disappear from the earth forever. Just kidding. Merry Christmas!
  • This Christmas is all about feeling special. I hope you spend this Christmas drinking to the point that you completely forget you’re a loser!
  • I love Christmas, but I am glad it comes just once a year. Otherwise, I’d definitely turn into a major Grinch!
  • Hope you have wonderful Christmas as it will take another year for you to celebrate.
  • I know you are grouchy, but I wish your Christmas to be merry! Best wishes to you!
  • May your Christmas be filled with large smiles and festivities, but not with a big belly. Merry Christmas!
  • I hope your celebration will be big and your bill will be small this Christmas. Have a joyful Christmas!
  • Sending your way a bundle of warm wishes and good luck on this holiday. Take my love and don’t forget to bring presents for me tonight. Merry Christmas!
  • Merry Christmas, the love of my life. After all our fancy Christmas dinners, I enjoy the fact that I am not the only one washing the dishes. Love you.
  • If I forget to bring presents for you, keep your doors open. Santa will definitely come with a box of chocolates. Merry Christmas!
  • I just wanted to let you know that you will be on Santa’s naughty list this year. Merry Christmas!
  • Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said “Due to cutbacks, toys not included.
  • Dear Santa, If you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list, I promise to give you the antidote to those poison cookies you just ate. Thank you.
  • Is Santa so busy that he cannot find time to groom himself? I think he needs to shave his beard.
  • Happy Holidays! May there be plenty of sales and coupons wherever you go to do your Christmas shopping.
  • Hope you did not forget it’s Christmas. It always comes around each time this year.
  • Christmas is the time to be with good people. So make a plan to spend the whole Christmas with me. Merry Christmas, love!

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Funny Christmas Wishes for Him

  • A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
  • Please allow Jesus to Come and Bless people in Church on Christmas; if he sees you there, he may not. So come here and have a party with me; Merry Christmas to you!
  • The only rule for you to follow this Christmas; don’t drink too much if I’m not there to carry you home! Merry Christmas!
  • Santa said you’ve been a great one this year. So, he will be giving you free vouchers to clean the house and find random things. Best of luck, hubby.
  • May your Christmas be spent eating candies and cakes as long as you don’t forget brushing your teeth. Wishing you a Merry Xmas!
  • Happy Holidays! May you be able to participate in the activities of the Christmas season rather than the flu season!
  • I wished to be surrounded by good people, not the ones that spoil my mood. But Santa told me that offer was not for married people.
  • I’ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas, it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas!
  • Do not spend all of your savings in one day over this lovely holiday. Merry Christmas!
  • I hope Santa doesn’t find all the faults you have been keeping under the blanket. Merry Christmas, dear.
  • Santa has already given me what I wished for so long. Now I want him to fill your socks too! Merry Christmas!
  • Dear colleague, hope you will stop thinking about work this holiday season and actually enjoy it and let us enjoy it. Joking, Merry Christmas.
  • Merry Christmas to you. I can see you have a great decoration there. But I think your credit card bill will not be as attractive as your decorations!
  • Christmas dinners are the best. While I may not be the greatest at cooking, I am pretty good at eating!
  • I’ll declare war if you throw a snowball at me. Let’s make this the happiest Christmas we’ve ever had! Merry Christmas!
  • May the calories of Christmas disappear by the New Year. Happy holidays!
  • Merry Christmas, dear! May Santa bring you winning lottery tickets in your socks!
  • Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!
  • People went to midnight mass not to hear mass, but to let their seatmates hear their snores.
  • Santa told me you’d been very good this year; I told him it was just a lack of opportunity. Merry Christmas!
Funny Christmas Wishes for Him

How do you say Merry Christmas funny?

Well, there are a few ways that you can say Merry Christmas in a funny way. For example, you could say “Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic holiday season!”

Or, you could say “Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season! And remember, the best way to spread holiday cheer is by singing loud for all to hear!”

Either way, simply adding a bit of humor to your Merry Christmas wishes is sure to put a smile on everyone’s face. So go ahead and spread some holiday cheer – the funnier, the better!

Here are some examples to wish someone a happy merry Christmas in a funniest way:

  • Enjoy your holiday and feel the magic of Christmas this year. Witness how money disappears and how I lose my sanity. Merry Christmas!
  • Christmas is a magical season. Your saving will quickly vanish without you noticing. You will only discover come January that you don’t have any money.
  • Last year Christmas I gave my heart but the very next day, you gave it away…. This year to save me from tears I’ll give it to someone special.
  • I wish you seasons of eating and having Merry. Merry Christmas and a happy new year!
  • You don’t need Santa to get special presents while you have me in life. I am your all-year-long Santa. Be grateful, woman. Love you.
  • Merry Christmas! I hope you are enjoying it to the fullest as your credit card is almost facing a dent.
  • Dearest God, this Christmas I planned on going green. So please get the point and send me lots of cash this Christmas. Thank you!
  • Christmas is about spending time with family and friends. It’s about creating happy memories that will last a lifetime. Merry Christmas to you and your family!
  • May you do not find your name in Santa’s naughty list this year! Have a blessed and wonderful Holiday season with your family and friends.
  • May all your savings doesn’t get spent on Christmas presents but do find me a good deal. Love you, dear husband.
  • Take my Christmas love and remember to bring me gifts. Merry Christmas!
  • I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you are getting fatter than Santa Clause. Even Santa would bully you this for being so fat! Merry Christmas!
  • Hey you two over there, It’s the old, bearded guy and his silly reindeer! We’re here to bring you holiday cheer and wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
  • It’s time to enjoy the holiday, spend some real cash, and realize in the end that money is everything that we ever wanted from Santa.
  • As I kept an eye on you throughout the year, you have been a good girl. Have a magical Christmas, wifey!
  • Everything grows old, except for You and Santa. Merry Christmas, my love. Sending warm wishes on your way this Christmas!
  • Girls express their talent by tears. Boys express their talent by beers. Merry Christmas Wishes.
  • Santa told me you are on the good list this year; I told him it was just a lack of opportunity. Just kidding! Have a wonderful Christmas!
  • Dear girlfriend, hope you won’t have to act fake surprised by receiving my gift this year. May you have a wonderful year ahead.
  • May you survive the priest’s boring speech in the church and join me at the party as soon as possible. Merry Christmas!
  • Some people have a great year in life and some years have bad people in them. Feeling sorry yet? Just kidding. May your Christmas be full of fun!
  • Christmas may well be a season to celebrate for you, but for me, it means trying my ass off to save every single penny I earned this year and make it through to the next year.
  • I pray this year that may Santa stop at my house too. Merry Christmas!
  • I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts. Have a fun Christmas!
  • Hope you won’t mess around much this Christmas and do extreme sports. Love you, my ladybug. Please don’t drink and pass out. Thanks.
  • Christmas has been postponed because I did not receive my late-night kiss. So, if you want to celebrate Christmas, you have to hug me as a penalty. Merry Christmas!
  • I hope your smiles will be as big as your credit card bill this Christmas! Wish you good luck and a lot of fun. Happy Christmas!
  • I’ve just received the bad news. Santa had a heart attack. Cause of death was your name on the good list of this year!
  • I’d like to say that all I want for Christmas is you, but I’d also like a new credit card! Merry Christmas, sweetheart!
Editorial Team